Guilt of Keeping it to myself

what's the purpose of your life?
what's the meaning of your life?
what's the essence of your life?
is it your life or His life?

"I could tell u hundred and one ways of how i want my life to be, but somehow i just cant find one that matches better then what He has for me."

I could not remember since when I feel so much for the mission. Perhaps since the day I realize that God has been so good to me until I feel guilty of keeping it to myself.

mission is His calling to every one of us, mission is not only going oversea to reach out the people there, but it's everywhere. in fact, we are in the mission field, with every single face we meet in our daily life.

Lord, let me not be the scarecrow in the field, standing there yet dint do anything, let me be part of your harvest crew, let me share the joy of your harvest season, this is what i pray, IJN, amen

*some random thought at late night*

btw, just managed to find back a album named Passion Worship Band - Live Worhsip from 268 generation (published in 1998). a very mission album which happens to be an album which accompanied me during my early secondary school time. Wow, already 9 years ago. haha


Knocking on the Door of Heaven ( from 268 Generation)
©1996 Kingway's Thankyou Music.
Words and Music by Matt Redman and Steve Cantellow

We will give ourselves no rest
'Till Your Kingdom comes on earth
We've positioned watchmen on the walls
Now our prayers will flow like tears
For You've shared Your heart with us
God of Heaven, on our knees we fall

Come down in power, reveal Your heart again
Come hear our cries, the tears that plead for rain

Chorus:
We're knocking, knocking on the door of heaven
We're crying, crying for this generation
We're praying for Your Name to be known in all of the earth
We're watching, watching on the walls to see You
We're looking, looking for a time of breakthrough
We're praying for Your Word to bear fruit in all of the earth
All of the earth

Paul Baloche - What Can I Do

Verse 1:
When I see the beauty of a sunset's glory,
Amazing artistry across the evening sky
When I feel the mystery of a distant galaxy
It awes and humbles me to be loved
by a God so high

Chorus:
What can I do but thank You,
What can I do but give my life to You
Halle- lu- jah, hallelujah
What can I do but praise You,
Everyday make everything I do a hallelu - jah
A hallelujah, hallelu - jah

Verse 2:
When I hear the story of a God of mercy
Who shared humanity and suffered by our side
Of the cross they nailed You to, that could not hold You
Now You're making all things new by the power
Of Your risen life


©2005 Integrity's Hosanna! Music Make Way Music (Admin. by Music Services)
All rights reserved. International copyright secured.

Words of Encouragement for SDJ concert 6th July

"I have made a lot decisions up till now, some were disappointing, some were satisfactory, but none of the decisions I’d ever made better than choosing to believe in Him, because He turns my disappointment into satisfaction, sorrow into joy, loneliness into companionship, fear into peace, insufficiency into abundance, plus a 24/7 helpline, on-site help and an eternal life."

"A decision to believe in your creator does not guaranteed a smooth and easy life, but it gives you lifetime warranty on assurance, acceptance, providence, companionship, encouragement, restoration, hope and an abundant life."

"There are times of happiness, there are times of anxiety and hopeless, but I know, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for He is with me; His rod and His staff, they comfort me." (Psalm 23)

above are the 3 version i'm inspired to write out. but too bad the first two really hard to find the exact bible verses to reinforce it...

after "slided back" to church, sometimes still feel that i've lost a lot of chances that i was once given previously, but i know rights and chances are not meant to be fought for, but to be given to. He knows every single thoughts i have, He understands every single wish i make; but wish is what i've made, path is what he has planned, i rather walk in His way and not fulfilling my own wish so that i wont obstruct what He already has for me, even though the wish i make may seems appropriate. He can use us in any situation, not necessary in church only, just be humble and flexible.

Kinda nervous for the SDJ concert, but I'm glad to be there.

Are you losing your soul?!!!

Holidays ≠ Rest

I've been waited desperately for this summer holidays since the first day i started the previous semester. It might be sounded kind of saddening 'cause it seems like campus life is all about sufferings for me, which I cant wait to get rid of...

Yeah, it finally comes, 3 months of summer holidays, but I'm still as busy as usual, but the different thing compared term times is that I enjoy what I'm doing, what I'm busy in, and most importantly a time for me to relieve from the stress of school...

Meanwhile, busy in church ministry, church camp next week, practicing for band performance, doing my free lance by computer servicing and DIY computer (want to know more? click here), editing the software development project with a primary school, supporting that primary school on the software, developing my freelance website, picking up multimedia design, and a lot more... ha... but I do enjoy it, seriously =)

Well, but I won't forget how I went into backsliding stage before. The path to backslide is simple, quite standard... When you're overwhelmed by what you do, you feel alright, you feel that you can handle, then you'll face problem which you can't overcome, 'cause we're weak man after all if we don't stay in God (Jn 15:4-5 Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it remains in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me. I am the Vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, the same brings forth much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. (MKJV))... then you'll feel that God is not with you, you feel depressed, lose your faith... when you lose your faith, then you backslide, then gone case... But, the crucial point is how sensitive and alert you are during the initial stage of backsliding, if you know you've to abide in Him at all times, you'll pray and you can keep the faith...

We're human, human is not perfect, what you do might be important, but nothing is more essential than your personal and intimate time with God, if you feel that you're overwhelmed by what you're doing, "take a break, have a chit chat", not to who but to Him la. ha...Don't be the one who gained the whole world but lost himself.

...encourage you; encourage myself...

Lord forgive us when we get consumed by the things of this world,
That fight for our love, and our passion,
As our eyes are open wide and on you.
Grant us the privilege of your world view,
And may your kingdom be, what wakes us up, and lays us down.
(taken from Tobymac - Lose My Soul)

The Battle belongs to the Lord

I know the time is running out, but why am I still standing here doing nothing, let the evil one carries on its conspiracy?!!! Oh God, am I wasting the life that You have entrusted on me? Lord, I really 'bue song' to see the evil one takes away the people around me!!!!!!!!

It has been quite a long time I do not feel heavy-laden when I wake up in the morning. Today is different, I felt terrible, terrible sad, as if somebody beside me has passed away. I did not understand why, until I returned to my yishun home this afternoon. I was traumatized when i saw my aunt, who was a Taoist, was doing the Japanese chanting with my uncle, finally everything seemed so clear to me. I knew spiritually, I lost someone...

Recently, my aunt went to see doctor after a period of struggle with the abdominal pain. It was diagnosed that she has some kind of ovarian tumor inside, and she'll go through an exploratory operation at NUH tomorrow morning.

Sometimes, as a christian, we really have to grab hold of every chance to preach the gospel, and win the lost soul for Him, because if we don't do it, the evil one will do it... In one night, monday night, my aunt decided to join my uncle, where I knew God has given me a lot of chance to preach to her, but I did not grab it.

I prayed for forgiveness, I asked God how, because I really despair of my failure to be a christian. But He told me, now is still not too late, this is an alarm, a warning, that I should stand up. And now it's just the beginning of the battle. Therefore, I should not be afraid, I should not be dismay, but to really put in effort in praying and live a life that is driven by the purpose of preaching of the good news...

It's a fight back. It's a declaration of battle. And it's a battle belongs to the Lord, for He has won it on the cross 2000 years ago. Now, I know I am here to win, to reclaim the lost soul...

2Ti 4:2 preach the Word, be instant in season and out of season, reprove, rebuke, exhort with all long-suffering and doctrine. (MKJV)

Mark Schultz - The Time of My Life

He packed his bags when he was just 18
To see a world he thought he'd never seen
But he knew when he met her
That she was the girl
He'd been waiting for

And each night they spent talking on the front porch swing
Like it came straight out of a movie scene
But one night she stepped out as the sun began to set
And when she got to the porch she found a letter that read

You're the only girl I'll ever love
And I'd do anything not to give you up
If I could only stop the world
When you're standing by my side
See I'm having the time of my life
Yes, I'm having the time of my life

The months went by it was their wedding day
A church on a hill, wedding bells rang away
She looked like a princess
All dressed up in pearls
It was her proudest day

And he stood all alone in a darkened church hallway
And he got down on his knees and he started to pray
He thanked the Lord for his family and the perfect bride
But he couldn't hold back what he was feelin' inside
And he said

She's the only girl I'll ever love
And I'd do anything not to give her up
If I could only stop the world
When she's standing by my side
See, I'm having the time of my life
Yes, I'm having the time of my life

Forty years went by and she lived most of God's plan
She stood alone in an attic, wedding dress in her hand
And she held an old letter written so long ago
But she'd never forget it
No matter how old

And as she turned to put the dress away
And pack up the years
He was standing in the doorway
With his eyes full of tears
And he held her

'Cause you're the only girl I'll ever love
And I'd do anything not to give you up
If I could only stop the world
When you're standing by my side
See I'm having the time of my life
Yes, I'm having the time of my life

You're the only girl I'll ever love





... kinda love this song, very sweet and tender love story ...

an eNd , a stArt

it has been few year since i had my last entry in keyskid.modblog.com... the reason of stopping is because i don have much good stuff for this younger generation. inferiority, rotten life, despair, aren't the kind of stuff that i should promote. But, the situation had changed, now i feel that i might have something good to contribute, therefore, here i am...

however, recently too tied down by the workload in National University of 'Stress' (NUS)... registered this account for some time already, but could not get myself off from the never ending stream of work. but, i know i will be alright, coz i know i'm not alone. explain to you again when i'm back...

sleepless nites with school work...